No hero in her skies

Life is a little crazy at the moment and, apparently, I’ve decided the best way to deal with this is to go out all the time. This is my first night in, sans alcohol, in four days which maybe doesn’t sound like a lot, but trust me, it is. We’ve been hitting it hard, especially Thursday when we went for a random cocktail eve – working with a hangover is the worst thing, I need to get that through my head.

Funny though, even as recently as a month ago, I could drink as many cocktails as I wanted and I wouldn’t have a hangover. I was just somehow blessedly immune. But, what feels like overnight, that has just suddenly changed and now everything hits me that little bit harder. Everyone told me it gets worse as you get older, but I didn’t believe them. Curse you, age! My body is betraying me. Further proof of this, I rolled my ankle as I was walking home last night and it completely folded in under me, like it was made of cheese or something. It’s no longer an ankle, just a swollen, bruised source of pain and disappointment.

It’s struck me recently how much this feels like home now. It makes it so hard to think I will have to leave it all behind in little over 3 months. I’m so comfortable here, everything is so familiar. I walk these streets like I own them. I love this town. So much. I love the variety and all the options available to me. I love my friends, who are all wonderful and amazing and different. I love being close to Abbi. I love my flatmate, he has to be one of the best things that ever happened to me. And I love my job, most of the time, when they aren’t screwing things up. I’ve been sad and heartbroken for most of the last month, but even that never diminished the swell of…well, belonging I get when I walk out the front door every morning.

I’ve just been so lucky, in the way everything here has worked out for me. If I didn’t have A to look after me, if I didn’t live with F, if I didn’t work with such amazing people, who turned out to be great friends, not just work mates… maybe I never would have experienced this feeling, this unadulterated love for London, in all its glory and imperfection. I am so, so glad that I have this. I don’t want to give it up.

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A week in the life…

Music: The blower’s daughter – Damien Rice

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